WOMEN: WHAT WE FEAR MOST ABOUT MARRIAGE...

Its really amazing how 'we' ladies fear the possibility of remaining unmarried for a long time stretching into our late twenties and thirties. I have seen countless number of spinsters visit many prayer houses to seek spiritual guide and advice just to be a Mrs and while so many will quickly come out to say they are unperturbed while deep inside of them they hope that they just find the “right man” fast enough and start
raising a family before reaching their menopause age. Watching your friends marry and start raising her kids can cause anxiety at times in an unmarried woman....Yes, that's the truth. You feel as though you are wasting your time and running out of patience. We need to understand life isn't a competition as no one was born exactly the same second as we were born. Not every woman is destined for early marriage. Even when suitors starts coming for your hand in marriage in your teen years, it's still not a guarantee for early marriage as no one knows what tomorrow holds in stock for us.Now, a number of things can delay a woman from getting married quite early. Many ladies do not need prayer and fasting
and in most cases, there is no spiritual attack from anywhere but these ladies are their own pitfalls and the simple truth is that 90%
of unmarried ladies in their late 20s and 30s have no business still remaining single.

Considering the present global socio-economy siituations expecially in a country like ours, here are 5 very vital questions to ask yourself as a lady and the more you give a NO to each of these 5 questions the harder
it may be for you to get married early:

1. Can you start a life with a man in one room ?
Many ladies have boyfriends who live in this type of apartment and infact they have spent some nights with him in that same one room apartment and the guy has lost count of how many times he has scr*wd you in any imaginable ways but when it comes to marriage you will say you can’t marry into one room apartment. Most men who own mansions today started their lives in one room so if you are ok being scr*wd in one room but you cannot marry same man living in one room then you are not only clueless but foolish.

2. Can you marry a struggling man who has no regular job?
Oh i can imagine some ladies answering LAI! LAI!,MBA NUNU! GOD
FORBID and so on to this particular question
but please let me ask you”why date a struggling guy in the first place if you cant marry him?” It is important to know that as long as that man is not lazy, but diligent with great workable vision, his break through will come and must come.How many ladies have given up an affair because they feel the guy has no job just to realize a year latter that he is gainfully employed or he has started a profitable business and they start feeling bad for not being patient enough.
Ok what is even the guaranty that the ones who have good jobs or business can not experience a crazy turn around that might lead to alcoholism? Many ladies have lost their chance with a vibrant vision-driven man just because they are waiting to say yes to a man who has a well paid job rather than for them to also find something doing that
will make them financially independent while the guy has enough space to pursue his dreams.Believe it or not 95% of the rich or successful guys you see today have passed through a struggling phase and conquered. Learn to be contented and get a job.

3. Can you have a very low budget wedding?

Now i want 'we' ladies to understand that marital union and marriage ceremony are 2 different things. Most times when you hear words like “my
guy is not ready yet for marriage” what this simply implies is that the guy is NOT READY FOR A BIG MARRIAGE CEREMONY and not
that he is not mentally,psychologically and emotionally ready but because our young ladies are overwhelmed with that one day celebration,they will never ever plan any wedding with a man who does not have the money to give them a flamboyant wedding and this is one major reason why most of "we" ladies remain single for a very very long time. Have you looked around to see many graduates still struggling in their 30s with no
assurance that a job or business will come up tomorrow? Are you among the myopic ladies who get carried away by a flamboyant wedding ceremony rich parents organize for their children? Hmmmm....we call it "aiming high".. Who says you can’t have a marriage ceremony with lower budget where a man pays the bride price and proceed to the registry with you and when the money starts coming in you two can do another big time wedding ceremony so why put yourself in bondage of having a compulsory big time wedding before you can be a Mrs? Why are you giving that guy a good reason to continue using you,saying he is not ready for marriage ceremony but doing all the imaginable things a man will do to a wife on you.

4. Can you marry a man who loves you but he's not your preferred specification?
That's another tough question. There is nothing absolutely wrong in having a picture of who you want and while some ladies are very fortunate to find such, many have lived in a fantasy world hoping to meet that man who has those qualities they dream of just to wait and wait until they become old waiting for an “ideal man". In marriage there is nothing like a bad or good choice neither do we have an ideal or non ideal man but its about your choice.Many ladies want a tall,cute,rich.GODfearing, romantic guy and its so amazing how some ladies will never shift ground and
when that short caring and loving guy comes their way they hush him and start running after a prince charming that feels nothing for them,what a shame. Stop having this myopic belief that there is an ideal man out there. Which man has it all? All you need to look out for is a man who truly desires and deserves you. If you like keep waiting and screening until you become the object of screening yourself.

5. Can you marry a man with a wide age gap?
To most of us, this is one of the most dangerous mistakes many of us make. For crying out loud, except a lady just wants to play around, you need a mature man.I can't advise a teenage girl
to be dating a fellow teenager or a lady in her early twenties to be dating a guy of just a year or two older than her because when she eventually becomes ripe for marriage, in most cases this guy is still jumping around
and fulfilling his sexual fantasies.Yes, I agree...age is nothing but a number but in most cases(80 percent) of ladies who date or court guys with wide age gaps like 6 years or more tend to end up as a wife to the guy while most ladies who at their young ages started an affair with guys of close age proximity are usually left heart broken latter in life because most guys in the 20s are probably still playing around and not even psychologically ready for marital union. So when i hear a 23 year old lady telling a guy in his 30s that he is too old for her i just laugh at her level of ignorance. If you are a teenager reading this or a lady in your early twenties, I sincerely advice you should date or court guys with
wide age gap to avoid had i known.YES!!! I WON'T FORGET TO TELL YOU...
THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THIS. Some guys act more mature than their age. I've seen a 34 years old man that still thinks like a child and a guy in his late twenties that acts terribly more mature for his age but this is just 10% out of 100% of guys. Even as mature as most of this guys can be, most times my assertion holds true. Dating an older guy is a huge advantage to you except you are sure the younger guy really loves you for real. The love has to be too evident for all to see and please, pray fervently for the Grace to be patient and wait for him.
In conclusion, this is just a wake-up call for us to set our priorities a right. I pray this write-up meets its purpose.

IJEOMA ESTHER OGBUKA