YETSHE STAYED..

One question I have always asked myself about girls and women who are domestically abused which is one thing common with them all is

"why stay?
Sweet heart, why stay?

This people, for one or two reasons will stay or even give the relationship a second, third, fourth chance, and infinite no of chances. Because they believe that things can change. The man can change.
Truth is that the man in question might not get to change if strict and absolutely right measures are not taken.

Tricia
A woman in her late 30ies. A mother of three kids. It all started the first day she confront her husband. Honey, "why are you coming back by this time"?
This is not how you used to be.. Let's be the way we were before we had kids. I need the man I married not a 'drunkard". The inebriated husband gifted her a slap whose sound woke up their neighbours. But then, she stayed.
Reason: because of my kids.
No, the kick boxing didnt not stop because she gave him reason to continue. A punching bag readily available. And so, mommy and daddy have talked till they couldn't find words. Nothing happened.

Cynthia
A graduate of mass communication. She runs a business of fashion designing. She met a Prince Charming. He's so dashing and magnetic in all respect. This prince wasn't just her desire, he was her need. She taught she had found happiness. A fulfilled life. Till the day they got into a heated argument she called him a 'lowlife'. She received a bicycle kick of her life. Cynthia dislocated her arm. Prince Charming accused the devil. And kissed Cynthia's feet apologising. Can "I am sorry attenuate the pain" and a near miss"?
Beautiful Cynthia forgave because of the "love" and fear of losing him.
Next the cycle continued. Today, swollen eye, tomorrow, swollen lips, next week, fractured leg. Prince Charming makes promises to cease fire. But he didn't stop. It continued. It became a tradition. Yet Cynthia stuck to him as if he is menstrual pain.

From the above instances, two things are common and conspicuous.
Both hoped it will get better. The man will change. So they stayed.

Both were/are tied down by something.
Triacia's is children
Cynthia's is love and 'fear of losing him'.

Which I call their weakness.

Run, leave , flee from the relationship. It reeks of wisdom.
Nothing is worth keeping you in violent/abusive relationship.
Your well-being comes first.
Once the beating has started, it's hard to stop. He might stop but it will take time. He has to be fixed. Before the fixing you have to run for you life.
Love is never a one person things... Nobody is indispensable. If you leave, you will always get somebody that will love and respect your body that he will not even dream of hitting you.

You can always get your kids. The children are yours. You have to survive before thinking about them.

Don't stay. Leave.

- Chigozie Lemchi

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